Before and After
I have gradually begun to be consumed by darkness and despair.
The man I once loved and cherished, no longer exists.
If feels as though I am living in a post-apocalyptic world, surrounded by zombies.
The zombies are constantly chasing me.
When they finally catch me I lose a piece of my soul.
This accumulates over time, leading me into dark oblivion.
This changes me from a guardian angel into a Dark Prince.
I have become ruthless as a result of these vicious emotions I possess.
Vengeance is my only true love and I am a slave to my ego.
I’m my own worst enemy.
The rage seduces me to the point, where my feelings are suffocating my conscience.
God, please put me out of my misery.
I know your still out there, even though my anger has driven you away.
It feels as though my heroic desires in life have served nothing more as a source of fuel.
Fuel for my selfish, self-centered desires.
Is this entirely true?
I feel a hero, that exists in the confines of my heart.
A sleeper who will one day awaken to redeem me from the horror film that is my life.
A badass special forces warrior.
His first combat mission is to destroy the false self that dictates my life.
I must pull through or die a glorious death.
Fear confuses the reality that I live in.
This conflicts with my thoughts and emotions.
My life has begun to flash before my eyes, as I begin to lose faith in humanity.
There has got to be a way out of this, I know there is.
I begin to cry, and the tears put out the inferno, that is my rage.
I slowly begin to free myself from this egocentric enslavement.
I feel like a brave warrior.
The darkness begins to fade, as all beautiful things do.
The struggle does not get easier.
With each fight, I grow stronger.
Establishing a deeper, more profound connection with my higher power.
I feel good, no I feel great.
I am no longer frightened by this insidious disease.
I begin to feel like the hero I have always dreamed of.
I am drenched in self-love.
I awaken as a man who possesses passions, unlike any other.
I continue to win my soul back.
Old wounds never fully heal.
I must embrace the pain or be destroyed by it.
My superficial assets, no longer define who I am.
My persona is defined by the heart that beats, through my chest.
I am the master of my own reality.
I will no longer allow myself to be haunted by dark angels and demons.
My courage begins to escalate to epic proportions.
I feel like a true hero.
I envision myself standing at the beach near sunset.
The sun begins to set, and I feel the cool breeze press against my body.
Every painful memory begins to melt away.
It is now replaced by a sense of euphoria stemmed from the obstacles I choose to embrace.
I begin to articulate my thoughts and grasp my frame of mind.
My soul feels pure and innocent.
I am dependent on only myself for self-love.
I begin to choose my fate, as an adventure, on a journey towards eternal glory.
God is my greatest ally.
When life gets rough, is when I must thank him for the gifts, he has blessed me with.
The man I have always dreamed of becoming is further created, through each waking moment